Author: Gary from Goodland

Crazy Florida Man

Missing Florida Man tried to ride Jet Ski to Bahamas despite ongoing hurricane

A man who may have been attempting to ride a Jet Ski from Pompano Beach to the Bahamas is missing, the Broward Sheriff’s Office said. Authorities are trying to find the 52-year-old man, Charles Walker, who was last seen about 5 p.m. Friday in Pompano Beach in the 3200 block of Northeast 16th Street, a…

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Florida Man Substitute Teacher Gives 6th Grade Homework Assignment Pushing Election Fraud Claims

Today’s lesson is how the Big Lie made it onto a world history study sheet handed out by a substitute teacher in the sixth grade at the R. Dan Nolan Middle School in Bradenton, Florida, on Wednesday. It was a take-home sheet headed “How Does a Historian Work?” and it was meant to prepare students…

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‘Gator got my arm’: Florida Man survives 3 days lost in the woods after alligator attack

MYAKKA CITY, Fla. — For the first time we are hearing from the man who lost his arm in an alligator attack in Myakka City earlier this summer.  Eric Merda who’s still adjusting to life with one arm, says he spent three grueling days in the swamp after a gator bit his arm off when…

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Florida man with no arms uses his feet to stab a tourist with a pair of scissors

A homeless South Beach artist with no arms is facing an aggravated battery charge after police say he stabbed a tourist using scissors held with his feet. Jonathan Dale Crenshaw, 46, was arrested Tuesday in the 200 block of Lincoln Road, according to an arrest report. Cesar Coronado, 22, was asking Crenshaw for directions when…

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Florida Man Caught Smoking Meth Assures Cops, “It’s Legal Now”

A Florida Man who was caught in the act of smoking meth told cops not to worry about it, because the laws have changed in his favor. 31-year-old Enzo Zabala-Cardozo was caught by officers in St. Petersburg with a glass pipe up to his lips, trying to light the contents inside on August 4th. According to…

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Florida man wins DUI after driving scooter into Walmart shelves with open bottle of Vodka

MELBOURNE, Fla. – A 39-year-old man was arrested on allegations of driving a motorized scooter while drunk and crashing into shelves Sunday at a Walmart in Melbourne, police said. According to Melbourne police, the man was driving a Walmart scooter and had his open backpack sitting in the scooter basket, where an opened bottle of…

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FloridaMan drove stolen truck to Space Force base on Presidential Mission to warn of Aliens

BREVARD COUNTY, Fla. – An Ocala man was arrested Friday afternoon for allegedly driving a stolen truck to the Patrick Space Force Base in Brevard County on a mission from the president, according to the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office. An arrest affidavit said Corey Johnson, 29, allegedly stole a 2013 Ford F150 from Riviera Beach,…

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Florida man who owes city $30,000 for not mowing his lawn may appeal to Supreme Court

DUNEDIN — A second federal court has ruled that a homeowner will have to pay nearly $30,000 in code violation fines because his lawn was overgrown in 2018, affirming a lower court’s ruling from last year. James Ficken, 72, sued Dunedin in 2019 after the city moved to foreclose on his home, setting off a…

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Florida Man Threatens To “Shoot Up & Burn Down” Subway When Told He Needed To Pay With Cash

A Florida man has been arrested after losing it in a Subway restaurant when he was told he would have to pay with cash for his footlong sandwich. On Tuesday, July 19, 2022, Deputy Rashard Fleming with the Suwannee County Sheriff’s Office was dispatched to the Subway restaurant on US 129 North regarding a man…

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Pastor Florida Man arrested and charged for masturbating on Starbucks patio — for the second time

OSCEOLA COUNTY, Fla. — A Kissimmee pastor who teaches online ministry classes was arrested Monday for exposing himself and performing a sex act on himself at a Starbucks store, deputies said. The Osceola County Sheriff’s Office said they were called to the store on West Osceola Parkway between John Young Parkway and Orange Blossom Trail…

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Florida Man tells state trooper that he runs the county, after being pulled over in his red Ferrari

FLAGLER COUNTY, Fla. – Video from Florida Highway Patrol appears to show Flagler County Commission Chairman Joe Mullins being pulled over for speeding in a red Ferrari. A trooper stopped him on Interstate 95 and the patrol dashcam video captured their exchange.  “Hey look, so 92 miles per hour is 22 over the speed limit,…

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Florida man arrested after trying to flee deputies on riding lawn mower

A Florida man who avoided an arrest earlier this year by diving into a swamp was not so lucky when deputies returned for him Saturday — and he tried using a riding lawn mower as a getaway vehicle, authorities said. Dusty Mobley, 40, of Holt, kicked a John Deere riding lawn mower into “high gear”…

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Florida man attacks a diner at restaurant with a FORK because of noisy kids

A disturbing incident occurred at a restaurant in Southwest Florida on Wednesday. According to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, a man was arrested after he allegedly threatened a fellow diner with an eating utensil at a restaurant in an Estero mall. According to an arrest affidavit, a family was finishing up dinner at the Wasabi…

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Florida Man Claims Self Defense in Killing Neighbors Rooster

A man from Jacksonville blamed his neighbor who was “like his friend” for killing his pet rooster on purpose. But James Nix, who was accused of killing the rooster, insisted that it was an accident and that it only happened because the rooster was attacking him.  “I’m defending myself, you know. I was fearing for…

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Florida Man police officer arrested for DUI while at work and driving his patrol car

According to the Apopka Police Department, the Eustis Police Department conducted a traffic stop on the officer, who was in his marked agency vehicle and agency-issued uniform, for suspicion of driving under the influence. The officer, identified as a five-year veteran of the department 25-year-old Oscar Mayorga, was arrested for DUI. Eustis police said around…

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Florida Man Arrested for Selling $1 Billion in Fake Cisco Hardware on Amazon, eBay

A Miami-based CEO has been arrested for allegedly importing $1 billion worth of counterfeit Cisco equipment from China and then selling it on Amazon and eBay. The Justice Department announced(Opens in a new window) today that it had indicted 38-year-old Onur “Ron” Aksoy for selling the counterfeit Cisco gear via numerous online storefronts.  Allegedly, Aksoy…

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Naked Florida man climbs onto big rig, throws highway into mayhem

A nude man threw a Florida commute into mayhem last week after he scampered across several highway lanes and hopped on the bed of a semi-trailer, according to a report. Startled Sarasota drivers stopped to observe the mayhem on Interstate 75 at about 4 p.m. on June 30 and posted footage of the incident to…

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Florida man sentenced to 20 years for creating instructional bomb-making video for ISIS

A Florida man was sentenced on Thursday to 20 years in federal prison and 15 years of supervised release after pleading guilty to attempting to provide material support to ISIS through an instructional bomb-making video. The Justice Department said in a press release, citing court documents, that Romeo Xavier Langhorne pledged his allegiance to the…

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Florida Man loses his shorts while swimming away from police; found naked behind a bush

July 5 Florida Man – A Florida Man was found naked behind a bush, after losing the only article of clothing he was wearing while swimming away from the police.  Police responded to a call regarding a man refusing to leave a residence in Gainesville, FL. While the deputies were on their way, they identified…

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Florida Man throws his wiener at local police; gets arrested.

July 4 Florida Man – A man from New Port Rochey was arrested for throwing his hot dog at local police who were warning him against a city ordinance. Florida Man, identified as Jason Stoll (47) was selling hot dogs on the roadway on Saturday, July 2, even after his street closure permit had ended. …

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